The relationship is the client
I do not take sides or cast one partner as the problem. We look together at the protective cycle that has taken over between you.
Currently accepting new Washington clients · Telehealth statewide
Couples Therapy in Seattle — Attachment-Based, by Telehealth
Most couples don't have a communication problem. They have an attachment problem. When one partner reaches and the other pulls away, the argument is rarely about the dishes — it's two nervous systems trying to feel safe at the same time.
The cycle you're probably stuck in
- One of you reaches; the other needs space. Both read the other as the threat.
- The argument escalates over something small, then repeats a week later.
- Apologies happen, but nothing actually settles underneath them.
- You start managing each other instead of turning toward each other.
How the work goes
My couples work is grounded in attachment theory and a Circle of Security certification in attachment assessment and treatment planning, woven with somatic co-regulation so change lands in the body and not only in the conversation.
- Slow the pursue–withdraw cycle down enough that both nervous systems can settle
- Name what each of you is protecting, without blame or diagnosis
- Practice body-based co-regulation you can actually use mid-conflict
- Rebuild trust and secure connection after rupture or betrayal
- Understand each other's attachment history and why it fires now
Sessions are secure video for Washington residents — Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland, Redmond, Tacoma, Everett, Olympia, Bellingham, Spokane, and Vancouver WA. Many couples find it easier to book together when neither of you has to leave the house.
What you can expect
Trust is built into the way we work
Before asking either of you to open up, we create a steady, respectful process where both partners can feel seen.
Safety before vulnerability
You will not be pushed into emotional exposure before your nervous systems have enough steadiness to stay connected.
Practice, not just insight
Sessions include body-based ways to pause, regulate, and repair so new responses become available during real conflict.
Experienced, attachment-focused care
Your work is supported by 23+ years in private practice and community health, plus Circle of Security training in attachment assessment and treatment planning.
Choosing a couples therapist
Questions Seattle couples often ask
Straightforward answers to help both of you decide whether this somatic, attachment-focused approach feels right.
Can you help if we keep having the same argument?
Yes. Repeating arguments often point to a deeper attachment cycle: one partner reaches, protests, or pursues while the other protects themselves by withdrawing or shutting down. We slow that cycle enough for both of you to recognize it and respond differently.
What if one partner is unsure about couples therapy?
That is common. The free 30-minute fit consultation gives both partners room to ask questions and hear how I work without committing to treatment. I will not pressure either of you to begin.
How is somatic couples therapy different from ordinary talk therapy?
Alongside the story and the words, we notice what happens in each partner's body during disconnection: tightening, bracing, urgency, numbness, or the impulse to leave. Working with those responses helps change become available in the moment, not only understood afterward.
Can online couples therapy feel personal and effective?
Yes. Secure telehealth lets both partners join from a familiar space and practice regulation where daily life actually happens. You must both be located in Washington during each session and have enough privacy to speak openly.
Will either partner be blamed or treated as the problem?
No. I hold both partners with care and curiosity. We focus on the cycle between you, the attachment needs underneath it, and the protective responses each of you learned for good reasons.
What happens during the free 30-minute fit consultation?
Both partners can briefly share what is bringing you in, ask questions about somatic and attachment-focused couples therapy, and learn what starting together could look like. We will also review scheduling, current fees, and relevant insurance details before you decide.
Talk it through before you commit
A free 30-minute call with both of you — we'll see whether this approach fits your relationship.
Related
- Somatic therapy in Seattle — the individual work behind the couples approach
- Does insurance cover this? — Aetna, United Healthcare, and superbills